Shut Up and F*ck Me
kiss it better baby...
Keeping the romance with a baby can be difficult, I can't say how many times I've heard phantom crying mid-coital or even worse... actual crying. In the beginning, I definitely struggled with getting in the groove. Outside of my initial fears of putting something up there after a baby came out, there were many factors to consider for a good "sex night". Overthinking is your number one enemy and for an over-analyzer like myself, one can only imagine the thoughts barraging my brain.
Timing is definitely a bitch in the beginning. There wasn't much time for detailed foreplay at first and I had to remind myself that it was gonna be like that for a while. I remember times when I'd be like "don't act like we ain't got no baby that can walk in any minute now" to my partner (and there were many of those instances). For a good time with my man I definitely had to let go of my Idea of "normal". From sex with baby sleeping in the bed (Thank God for king beds and spooning), to sex outside the bedroom door so I can hear if he wakes up.
Sex after the baby takes effort, but it's necessary. I can totally see how it can be hard to get back in the groove from having body issues, to low libido even PPD. There are a lot of things that we don't realize. Make that effort even for yourself because sex feels great, it's great for you, and great for bonding time with your partner. Below are some great tips I kept in mind for sex after a baby.
Get that green light
Make sure you've spoken to your doctor or midwife about when it is safe for you to resume hanky panky time. Most doctors recommend a minimum of six weeks, but take your time and listen to your body.
Take care of your baby before
It's quite obvious but taking extra time to ensure your baby is safe or sleeping well will help rest your mind a bit. Sex is a bit of a mind game and stressing over baby won't help the situation.
Keep it spicy
You have to understand that things aren't the same and they won't be for a while, so if you want to get it in... consider other places than the bedroom.
Be honest with yourself and your partner, never ever rush it. Even if it starts to hurt during sex, stop if you need to.
Be comfortable with your new body
You just gave life to a new fucking human being. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! You're fine as you are and I guarantee you your partner is just dying for the cookie at this point.
Be comfortable with your transitioning body
Your body is going to keep changing, if you are breastfeeding your breasts can go from happy baloons to dried up dates real quick, you will have to embrace that and if you can't go get some sexy bras.
USE birth control
Contrary to popular belief you can get pregnant while breastfeeding, and yes, you can get pregnant before your first period after having a baby. unless that is your desired result, condoms, spermicide or birth control ( natural or otherwise) should be your best friend.
It is normal for you to be a little dry after giving birth especially if your'e breastfeeding, it has nothing to do with you being turned on or not. Don't be afraid to grab the organic coconut oil or whatever lube you fancy.
have a sense of humour
Embrace the awkwardness that is your first time, your boobs might leak, you might fart, it's all new to you both but laughing about it doesn't hurt.
It will get better
Be patient with yourself and understand that you will be back in the swing of things soon.
What are some tips you can share, let us know below in the comments muvas!