The company you keep...

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"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best."

Epictetus

I was having a conversation with my mother about an old friend of hers. She was this beautiful West African woman whose daughter was a few years younger than me, I asked my mother what happened to her as they abruptly stopped talking. She said to me quite frankly " I stopped being friends with her because of you my child". She had ended her friendship with this woman because she saw what it was doing to me.  My mother went on to say how her friend used to love talking about skin complexion and hair texture because her children were in fact (by her own proud exclamation) mixed. She would go on about never marrying a black man and how she loved her daughter's hair and light eyes and she would say these things around us... The children. 

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Tell me who you walk with, and I’ll tell you who you are.
— esmeralda santiago
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My mother told me how one day I asked her why I didn't have "pretty hair" like my friend. Her mother talked so highly about these features I did not have and she saw what it was doing to me. At that moment, she knew what she had to do to preserve her child's self esteem.  My mother has always instilled pride in my heritage, so when she explained this to me it was no surprise and is something I would absolutley do.

Raising a black child in this climate is difficult as it is. As a new mother I believe it important to protect my family's energy at all costs. Anything that contributes to insecurities or identity issues in my child(ren) is and will be eradicated. What are some "NO GO's" for you mamas and papas? Share below and remember, PROTECT YOUR SPACE at all costs!